What brought on this spontaneous event?
BOYS.. what else?
Every single one of us had something or another we wanted to burn. Things that boys had either given to or left with us. And we did just that. Burned them. Now, I unfortunately didn't have anything handy to burn because it was 20 minutes away. But I was okay with this. It's just not in my nature to want to do things like that. But the other 3 girls, one of which was a cousin of mine, really needed to do this for themselves. And I applauded them the entire way! It was spur of the moment, inspiring, and incredibly fun!
All 4 of us have had less than stellar experiences with boys. All very different situations, but also all very similar. These mementos these girls burned signified something. Among the items burned were letters, shirts, teddy bears, sweatshirts, and even ceramic objects. All gifts or previously owned items.
This is all probably sounding a little silly and.. albeit, a little crazy. But hear me out!
Each one of them said some things that I found interesting.. and I wanted to share!
A common topic came up that each one of us was grateful we didn't get what we thought we deserved.
These boys we thought we loved, and may really even have, treated us much less than what we were worthy of. One of the girls brought up that hers treated her as an object instead of a living breathing person, and he openly admitted to her that he saw her that way.
Another acknowledged that she was always second choice. He knew she would be there for him whenever he "missed" her.
The last pointed out that she was never good enough to him. She just couldn't live up to his "standards" and he decided she wasn't "good enough".
Why do we as young women and women allow ourselves, and sometimes even each other, to be treated and thought of in such a way?
My thoughts? We sometimes can't help it. These "men" we have the lovely chance of encountering have ways of manipulating, distorting, and confusing us. They get so far into our minds that they can start to change the way we think, the way we react, and the way we live. I guess it's a form of brainwashing?
Now, I personally believe there is a rhyme and a reason to everything each of us experiences. The main reason? I believe it's to build character.
How we respond in times of hurt and anguish mold us, shape us into the great individuals we are made to be. It's not always fun, and it will NEVER be easy.
Everyone's trials are different, but we aren't all separate.
I know you all think there is no one out there that does, or ever will understand what you're going through. Okay, so that may be partially true.. but I know there is always going to be someone that knows how you FEEL. Come on now, you are not the only human being capable of feeling emotion.
We may not be able to understand your EXACT situation, but we have felt what it is to be sad, or frustrated, or scared. We have felt despair and confusion. And we know it sucks to be hurt by somebody you've loved.
Don't push people away. It only makes you sad and often times, bitter.
I'm here to tell you, feeling that way is a CHOICE. Not a side effect.
This little burning session we had, had a good lesson behind it. Let go of the negative.
"Taking out the trash" as we called it. Whether it means literally burning old things you're holding onto that bring back hard memories, or figuratively burning those memories and just deciding not to dwell on them any longer. Set yourself free of it. It's much easier said than done. You'll have to put some effort into it. Heaven forbid. But in the end, you'll be better off and in a much happier place.
There is someone out there for you.
Become more comfortable with yourself and learn some new things. LEARN about yourself, create yourself. Discover. Stop focusing on finding THEM and do things for YOURSELF.
Once you're comfortable and confident in those aspects, the right one will show up, and you won't have even expected it.
I promise.
And there's the viewpoint of a girl that's "been there, done that"
Cheers!
