Growing Up: Yep, It's a trap!

Why is it that every time I sit down to write a blog post, I can't think of a single thing to write about?
I am always trying to come up with inspiring/cool things I could say. And on occasion, I actually come up with something. But when I try to write them down...
Where did they go!? Good heavens...
I know that there will be very few people that actually read my blog, but I want to be sure that I make those that do read it laugh and feel loved! It's just a goal of mine.


I've recently come to love a very old television show. Okay, not VERY old, but older than me... I mean, I am old.. 21's old.. or at least I'm starting to feel that way!
They're called 'The Golden Girls'. Have you ever heard about them? Watched an episode? I seriously suggest you do! I mean, it has Betty White in it. Of course it is going to make you laugh. And there is nothing better than laughter, I think.
I absolutely love this show!
And, after watching 50 episodes or more, I've come to one conclusion:

 

You'll understand this when you take my advice and watch it. Which you're gonna do today... Right!?


Moving on:
I'm seriously starting to wonder how I haven't gone completely insane over the last few months after living the boring life that I have been!!
I literally do nothing.
I go to work, I read books on my kindle, and I watch The Golden Girls...
Okay, so that's not technically ALL I do with my life, but my life has halted a little bit and is lacking in the 'Excitement & Adventure' department.

And here comes the serious part:

my Best Friend is getting married in 2 weeks...... my best friend gets married in 2 weeks...
Oi Vey....
You know, when her and Ben first got engaged I was asked; "so, how are you holding up having your best friend getting married and moving on?" "how do you feel about it?" "how are you doing with all of this?"
My response was "Oh, I'm totally fine! It doesn't bother me any!" and that was me being completely honest.
But now the last week I have been feeling really weird, it's almost a bitter feeling, but not entirely. I get upset thinking about all of it and sometimes I even get anxiety. I don't even understand it.
I couldn't be happier for her! This is a big deal, and a great thing for her to be experiencing!
So why do I feel... almost mad at her?

I've been thinking about this as I've been feeling this way, and I think I have finally found the answer:
I'm mad that she's leaving me.

Now, you're probably going, "oh, she's not leaving you!" or "well, that's just silly. She's not going anywhere."
People have told me, "oh she's the same girl, she'll just have a husband!"
And I hate this. Wanna know why? Because... guess what? she's not the same! And, guess what? I'm okay with that!
The thing that I am NOT okay with is this. With her life completely changing, for the better that is, my life is ALSO changing.
Why would my life be changing? It's not me that is getting married. It's not me that will be starting a family.
But it IS me that will be 'losing' my 'unbiological sister' to a completely different lifestyle.
There will be no more fun nights out creepin' on people and causing chaos. There will be no late night runs to McDonald's for their specialty shakes. There will be no more sleepovers talking about boys and the simpler things of life. And there will be no more just me and her time.
...... that's hard...
Okay, so for the last year it hasn't even been that way, she had a boyfriend. Someone else had her attention. It also wasn't as permanent in my mind as it is now.
She will officially be married in 1 week, 6 days. That's a lot for this girl to take in. I am most definitely one that does not handle change well. What-so-ever.
And that is exactly what is happening to me. CHANGE. Life isn't going to be the same. Ever again.

We've all had that conversation about how exciting it would be when we got married and how crazy it would be to experience all of it.
"Oh, you'll find someone!" "He's going to be so adorable!" "I just can't even imagine what it will be like.." and that excited feeling welled up in your stomach and you just smiled and imagined it all perfectly in your mind.
Welp, we never expected it to feel like this, did we? Nope...
Growing up is hard...

Okay, Now that THAT is all said and out of the way:
Let me just tell you how HAPPY I am for my best friend.
She is so very lucky! And she has found a wonderful guy! I seriously adore both of them.
They are going to have the greatest life together and this change in ALL of our lives is going to be and experience of a lifetime.
We are hitting a milestone in our lives and moving on to the next chapter! As terrifying as this is to think about, it really is a marvelous thing!
And I wouldn't want it to be any other way!

And THERE is the view point of The Best Friend of the Bride.

 Cheers!
 -Jillian